My first follower!!!

Guess what readers!  I got my first follower today!  WOOHOOO!!!!  I know this blog isn't extremely well known yet, but I LOVE knowing that there are people reading and responding to my posts.  This is a subject that needs to be discussed but we tend be embarassed about it.  I want this to be a safe place where we can be honest and work on opening up and enjoying a great part of ourselves.  Pass the blog on to others and lets get some more followers.  YAY!!!

What do you want to try?

Okay, let's get down to it.  What do you really like or wish you could try with your partner?  I think this can be a great way to offer ideas to other like-minded people.  I think role-playing can be SO much fun!  When you've been with the same person for so long it is really easy to get into a routine and let the heat fizzle.  I love going on a date with my DH and start asking him about himself. (how many kids in his family, his interests, etc.)  It's fun to feel like you're learning new things about each other and remember that feeling from when you first got together. 

There's lots of other ways to bring new excitment into your sex life as well.  Depending on what does it for you there's everything from a new position, lingerie, or even toys.  (there's a full spectrum of tame to crazy out there.)  Mixing it up can be great!  What do you do to feel that heat again?  Do you ever have the problem of feeling like you're having sex just because you're supposed to, instead of the desire to please each other?  Let's talk about it!  This is the place for it people!

The inspiration for this blog

Over a year ago I met a girl online on a chat board.  Her and I had quite a bit in common and became friends.  As we communicated we spoke about the more intimate sides of our married lives and she told me that her and her husband weren't as involved as they used to be.  They had always been very straight laced and conservative in their sex life and she wanted to bring a little spice into the relationsihp.  I started to give her little bits of advice here and there.  The pointers I gave her were turning out very well and opening doors in their relationship that she never thought would be possible.  Over the next few months she suggested that I write a book with little pointers and suggestions to help "good girls," or "good couples," open up and embrace sex for the awesome wonderful thing that it is! 

We had been talking for about three or four months fairly regularly when suddenly she stopped responding.  I had told her I was starting a blog as a pre-cursor to the book to get an idea of what other "good couples" go through.  I hadn't heard back and figured she was probably just too busy for life or no longer needed any help from me.  Almost a year later I got an email from her email address again.  This email came from her husband.  I was saddened to hear that my friend had been killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver about 10 months previously. Her husband had stumbled upon our correspondence and wanted to see if I had old emails from her.  As I spoke with him a little he realized through reading our emails that their relationship had changed quite a bit while she was speaking to me.  He said he wondered why all the sudden they were talking more and their sex life was improving.  He hadn't known about her and I talking but was so glad they'd had some really good time together before she passed away.

I'm not sharing this to depress people. I just thought it was a great example to see that even after years of marriage, you never know what possibilities there are for you and your spouse unless you talk about it and go for it.  My friend and her husband had been married for many years and had two kids and never thought the other person was interested in spicing up their sex life.  When they started to communicate and be more honest with each other, and themselves, they grew closer in other aspects of their relationship as well.  When we lose someone we love there are always "what ifs." Good communication and GREAT sex shouldn't be one of them!  Live your life to the fullest and enjoy the love you have as much as humanly possible.

Feeling Good!

It's been a while since I posted-sorry everyone!  First of all-I got my first comment!  Woohoo!!  I would LOVE to get more!

I've never been much of a gym rat.  I would go through phases of trying to work out and eat right, but it was just that, work.  In December I discovered my own Nirvana-Zumba.  I've always loved dancing but it's a little weird going when I'm married and all my friends are single.  Zumba is like latin dance mixed with aerobics.  It is AMAZING!  It is perfect for people of all shapes, gender, age, and size.  I have fallen in love with it!  I'm totally addicted and have been going 4-5 times a week.  I've lost 16 lbs since I started going.  I'm off on this tangent becuase of what it has done for me. 

Since losing the weight and learning how to flaunt my curves-the sex has been great!  I love practicing my moves at home, and hubby loves to see the hips move. :)  I still have confidence issues every once in a while but I feel SO much better!  Now Zumba may not be your thing-but finding that one exercise that makes you sweat, feel good, and bring out your confidence is key.  Find what makes you feel sexy and go with it!  Make it a major priority.  You can't have a healthy sex life-or life in general unless you take a bit of time for yourself.  It does a mind and body good.  Your significant other will love the new more confident (maybe even slimmer) self.  Heck ya!!!

What do you do to feel good about yourself?

Honeymoon

Was it weird for you when you first got married?  I can't get over the way it is for us "good girls."  We're raised being told that sex is bad--or maybe not even talking about sex; and then when we get married all of the sudden the rules are completely different.  Was it hard for any of you to get over that sudden change?  I've spoken with a lot of girls that have a hard time moving into the sexual side of marriage because of how engrained the "sex is bad" mentality can be. 

If you did have a hard time with this, do you still?  What kind of things have you, or you and your man done to help change this if at all.  Do you wish you could get past this?  Give me some input ladies...

Having "that" friend

I've decided everyone needs "that" friend.  I mean the friend that you can talk to about everything.  You can talk to them about frustrations or things like that, but also about sex.  If you don't have "that" friend-use this blog to start to feel comfortable talking about stuff.  I have an awesome friend, but I never really thought we'd talk super-openly about our sex lives.  She invited me to a "slumber party" (basically a tupperware party-but for sex toys and things of that nature) and as we were looking through the catalog we both opened up a lot about what we were interested in, had tried, and such.  It was so great!  When we went to the party, we were able to have a lot of fun and talk about all the fun stuff we had ordered.  I totally loved it!  I've decided I would love to be a distributor for Slumber Parties.  I want to help women feel comfortable with whatever level of spice they want to add to their relationship.  I'm so excited!!  I think I'll be signing up as a distributor in a couple months, so if anyone is interested-hit me up in a couple months and it'll be a blast!

So do you have any friends in particular that you can talk to?  What makes it easier to talk to that specific person?  Does it make you feel uncomfortable or is it helpful?  Talk to me ladies!

Sweet way to get lingerie

You know how there's all those sexy little halloween costumes out there that you would never wear in public?  Well they are a great way to pump up your lingerie wardrobe!  If you watch those post-halloween sales where all the halloween stuff is like 75% off then you can get some serious role-playing props!  :)

I encountered a friend of mine who had a total misconception of how conservative her husband was.  It was interesting because both members of the relationship thought the other person was very straight laced and had no interest in trying new things.  After this woman realized she had misread her husband she asked me how to break the ice.  I gave her a few ideas of how to show him that she wasn't as reserved as he thought she was.  It ought to be interesting to see how it plays out for them.  Do you ever feel like your relationship might be like that?  Sometimes I think we have these preconceived notions about our parterns, or ourselves, and not ever realize our full potential in our relationship.  How sad!