Over a year ago I met a girl online on a chat board. Her and I had quite a bit in common and became friends. As we communicated we spoke about the more intimate sides of our married lives and she told me that her and her husband weren't as involved as they used to be. They had always been very straight laced and conservative in their sex life and she wanted to bring a little spice into the relationsihp. I started to give her little bits of advice here and there. The pointers I gave her were turning out very well and opening doors in their relationship that she never thought would be possible. Over the next few months she suggested that I write a book with little pointers and suggestions to help "good girls," or "good couples," open up and embrace sex for the awesome wonderful thing that it is!
We had been talking for about three or four months fairly regularly when suddenly she stopped responding. I had told her I was starting a blog as a pre-cursor to the book to get an idea of what other "good couples" go through. I hadn't heard back and figured she was probably just too busy for life or no longer needed any help from me. Almost a year later I got an email from her email address again. This email came from her husband. I was saddened to hear that my friend had been killed in an auto accident by a drunk driver about 10 months previously. Her husband had stumbled upon our correspondence and wanted to see if I had old emails from her. As I spoke with him a little he realized through reading our emails that their relationship had changed quite a bit while she was speaking to me. He said he wondered why all the sudden they were talking more and their sex life was improving. He hadn't known about her and I talking but was so glad they'd had some really good time together before she passed away.
I'm not sharing this to depress people. I just thought it was a great example to see that even after years of marriage, you never know what possibilities there are for you and your spouse unless you talk about it and go for it. My friend and her husband had been married for many years and had two kids and never thought the other person was interested in spicing up their sex life. When they started to communicate and be more honest with each other, and themselves, they grew closer in other aspects of their relationship as well. When we lose someone we love there are always "what ifs." Good communication and GREAT sex shouldn't be one of them! Live your life to the fullest and enjoy the love you have as much as humanly possible.
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I like your post. It reminds me of how when your first married and your like why does he wash his face first then shampoo his hair?? That brand of tooth paste is horrible!! And learning to cook like his mother, dont even get me started! The bedroom is just the same. You have talk about things and figure out what you like and dont like and be flexible to try new things. I hope you post more! Kiss
ReplyDeleteSo true! We have so much to learn about our special someone when we first get married, somehow the sexual part seems to get skipped. Our society seems to act like we either have to be nymphos or celibate. I want us to realize we can be awesome, good people and still have a rocking sex life! I think exploring the sexual sides of ourselves and our partners is so exciting!
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