Sweet way to get lingerie

You know how there's all those sexy little halloween costumes out there that you would never wear in public?  Well they are a great way to pump up your lingerie wardrobe!  If you watch those post-halloween sales where all the halloween stuff is like 75% off then you can get some serious role-playing props!  :)

I encountered a friend of mine who had a total misconception of how conservative her husband was.  It was interesting because both members of the relationship thought the other person was very straight laced and had no interest in trying new things.  After this woman realized she had misread her husband she asked me how to break the ice.  I gave her a few ideas of how to show him that she wasn't as reserved as he thought she was.  It ought to be interesting to see how it plays out for them.  Do you ever feel like your relationship might be like that?  Sometimes I think we have these preconceived notions about our parterns, or ourselves, and not ever realize our full potential in our relationship.  How sad!

Feeling Sexy

You know how there's some night when you're feeling hot and those nights when you feel the complete opposite?  What is it that makes the difference for you? 
I know some of the things that can really make me feel hot are when my hair works and is shiny, sexy, and bouncy (you know-shampoo commercial hair), when my make-up cooperated that day, maybe I'm feeling a little more in shape or my clothes just worked, if these things come together (along with freshly shaven legs)-I can feel pretty glamorous!  But then there's nights like last night.  I had been cleaning all day and was in my work out clothes.  My hair was up in a ponytail and not a smack of make-up on my face.  I was not feeling glamorous, but my hubby was totally into my look.  I wish I could've immediately felt sexy and been workin' it, but since I wasn't all glammed up, I didn't feel it.
Why do we do these kinds of things to ourselves?  Why do we feel like we have to look one specific way in order to feel sexy-even if our men feel differently?  I think I'm a child of the magazine generation.  When I am standing in line at the grocery store I'm always checking out the covers of the magazines and comparing myself to the latest super skinny women who have been airbrushed and had hair/make-up teams. It's ridiculous. I am trying really hard to realize that when my DH is liking what he sees, then I need to embrace it and work it!  I'm not saying my hubby doesn't like it when I get all snazzy and sexy-but I definitely need to appreciate my man who enjoys the natural look as well. 
I guess this all goes along with learning to feel comfortable and sexy in our own skin-even if it's not what we believe is perfect.  We can try to better ourselves while still loving our hotness!!  If we are loving ourselves it is so much easier to open up and allow that special man to enjoy us as well.

Do you feel comfortable with yourself?  What things bring out your inner goddess?

It's all about communication

It can be hard to talk about sex.  Bringing up the topic can be really uncomfortable for a lot of women, and even if you get the guts to bring up the subject, it can still be hard to really verbalize what you're thinking or wanting.  I think a big problem for me was really trying to understand myself what it was I really wanted.  Once I finally started to understand what things I liked/disliked I had to figure out how to describe it to my DH.  (dear hubby).  There's always "dirty talk" when you're in the heat of the moment and you can express what feels good, but it's not the same when you're in your pj's sitting on the couch with graham crackers and milk.  Last night I was trying to convey a particular topic to my DH and, even though I'm a million times more open about sex with him than I used to be, I still found myself feeling sheepish about expressing myself.  I thought to myself,  "Are you kidding me?  You have a blog that is solely devoted to embracing and expressing your sexual self and you're feeling this way?"  I guess it just reinforced the need for me to have this blog and talk to other women who feel the same way.  I gave myself a little pep talk and went back to the DH and had a better conversation.  It went pretty well. :) 

What are your hang ups?

I think there are a few major hang-ups that women have that get in the way of really enjoying sex.  One major one (at least for me) is being totally comfortable with my own body.  I don't know one woman who would stand naked in front of a mirror and be totally satisfied with what she is seeing.  We are so hyper-critical of ourselves that it can really get in the way of enjoying being intimate.  I know that when I'm feeling insecure about my body I'm not as likely to initiate getting intimate because I'm not feeling confident in myself.  There's always the "lights off" or "staying under the sheet" method to try and camoflauge, but neither of those are very good options because that means we are restricting ourselves. 
When I catch my husband checking me out if I'm hopping in the shower-the first thing I think is "bend your leg so the cellulite doesn't look as prominent" or "suck in your gut!"  I KNOW that is not what he's thinking.  I try to realize that even though I see every pound, he just sees the sexy woman he loves, and is totally turned on by. 

Another major problem that comes with the "good girl" territory is guilt.  Do you feel guilty at all when you're having sex?  I've heard of many women feeling like it's still a bad thing to have sex even when married, or feeling like it's bad to enjoy it.  The reality is so opposite!  Sex is great!!  Sex is such a wonderful thing that is meant to be enjoyed in the right circumstances!  We have to work with our own psyches and try to pinpoint why we feel silly or guilty,  instead of allowing ourselves to thorougly enjoy sex. 


What do you think?  What would you say are some of the major things that keep you from really enjoying the awesome intimate time with your partner?

Being a good girl

I've devoted this blog to exploring the sexual side of a good girl. It's not about turning yourself from a good girl into something else. On the contrary, it is all about being a good girl and learning to embrace your sexual self and enjoy it. So what I'd love to hear from you are questions, stories, comments, etc. about the sexual challenges and successes of being a good girl. Would you like ideas on how to spice up your relationship? How to feel more comfortable with yourself? How to try to get over the guilt that can come with the embedded "sex is bad" mentality? Ask me or tell me anything with complete confidentiality. Let's help each other out girls!